Earwig Lockpicker VS Samwise Gamgee

This Rumble ended on 2004-02-07 00:00:00.0.

Earwig Lockpicker


51 Votes

Race: Kender
Favorite Possession: Weapon collection.
Favorite Adventure: There was this maiden who cursed this knight and this wizard, and then Caramon and me and Raistlin, we went to this castle, it was called Death's Keep, now that's a wonderful name, where they still were, the maiden and the knight and the wizard I mean, as ghosts or something similarly creepy, yet exiting, and ended the curse, or rather I did.
Best Friend: Caramon Majere
Name Something you've borrowed, found or stolen: Catherine's cursed ring of mind control.
Favorite Quote: "We met at the Inn of the Last Home. I couldn't stay long. There was that misunderstanding over the horse. I told them I didn't steal it. I can't think how it came to follow me."
Is the glass half-empty or half-full?: It's actually empty. I just had it painted so that it looks like it was half-full. Or maybe it was half-empty, I can't remember exactly.
Favorite color: Green and orange. Describe where you live: How do you mean? I know you humans have this funny habit of staying in one place all your lives, but I couldn't live like that. I'd get bored. You wouldn't want me to get bored would you? Because that's what this conversation is doing. Making me bored. Hey, where are you going now? Why are you running? Can I come with you? You sure run awfully fast you know.

Samwise Gamgee


88 Votes

Race: Hobbit
Favorite Possession: Elvish Rope
Favorite Adventure: I'm not fond of adventure...but I'll go where Mr. Frodo goes.
Best Friend: Frodo Baggins
Name Something you've borrowed, found or stolen: My sword from the Barrow Wight's cave.
Favorite Quote: "He told me, 'Don't you lose him Samwise Gamgee.' And I don't mean to." (can't remember if this is from the movie, or the book...or both)
Is the glass half-empty or half-full?: Preferably half-full of conney stew.
Favorite color: All the colors of the gardens.
Describe where you live: Well, in a cozy burrow in the Shire? Where else would you expect?


The night of drinking and revelry between the kender and hobbit clans had gotten a wee bit out of control. The Trapspringers and the Tooks had a dancing contest and the flagons of ale had flowed as smoothly as the little figures across the wooden dance floor. The Burrfoots and the Brandybucks had a wonderful time with the sling throwing contest as they threw back decanters of elven wine and the Thistleknotts and Proudfoots had traded riddles and taunts all the night long as the passed back and forth a jug of fine dwarven spirits. Now only a few stragglers remained into the wee hours of the morning, Earwig Lockpicker being one of them and Samwise Gamgee being the other. The two little people were standing among the wooden tables surrounded by snoring hobbits and kender that has passed out from the drinking. “And so”, continued Earwig, “When happened upon the city of Mereklar, Raistlin the Magnificent said to me ‘Earwig, what should we do next?’ and I told him we needed to go inside. I mean reall. What is the purpose of going to a city if you’re not even going to go inside I ask you?” Sam swayed back and forth spilling the contents of his mug, but not particularly caring. “Of course Mr. Lockpicker. I understand completely. Why I myself once approached the very gates of Mordor and knocked on them myself. I had to pull poor Frodo behind me who was so scared I think he nearly wet himself… or was that Gollum.” Earwig laughed, “Nearly wet himself? That’s priceless. That Frodo sounds the fool.” Earwig took another drink and spit it out as a drunken giggle escaped his lips. Sam’s face darkened. “You take that back!” he shouted. Confused at the sudden change in reaction Earwig replied “I will not!” He screamed, wondering just exactly what had been lost in the first place that Sam was trying to return. He looked all around his feet. Unwilling to let this kender degrade his good friend Frodo Sam dropped his mug and took his first swing.

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