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Queen of Darkness
241 Votes
Name: Takhisis
Viewed as: Thought to be the very essence of evil
Followers: Has hundreds of faithful legions
Resurrection: Faithful followers plotted her return During
the war o fthe Lance
Dark Lady: Kitiara Uth Matar
Daughter: Artha, an obese woman shrouded in dark fog and obsesesed
with wealth.
Son: Malfesus, a great demonic brute that inherited the strength
of his mother and the schemings of his father.
Career: Has made a career of spreading darkness and strife. |
Crown Prince of Darkness
158 Votes
Name: Ozzy Ozborne
Viewed as: Thought to be the very essence of evil
Followers: Has hundreds of faithful legions
Reduction: Was resurected by MTV
Dark Lady: Sharon Osborne
Daughter: Kelly, a young colorful woman obsessed with music.
Son: Jack, a young man that has inherited the brains of his
mother and the mouth of his father.
Career: Has made a career of exploiting darkness and strife.
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In the years following her banishment by Huma Takhisis developed a number of
plots to help her regain entry back into the world of Krynn. Here was yet one
more failed attempt, but how did it actually end? The scene begins with Ozzy
Ozborne the self-styled “Crown Prince of Darkness” sitting in a
second-story window holding a football and Takhisis the self-styled “Queen
of Darkness” staring up at him from the driveway holding a football in
her hands. Evidently the Dark Queen has crossed the multi-planes to seek a being
as dark and twisted as herself to ask for an alliance. Here is what transpired
at that meeting.
OSBORNE: What’s the score?
TAHKISIS: Can we stop playing this infernal game and get back
to the discussion of our alliance?
OSBORNE: Relax a *BLEEPIN’*
moment. We can get back to that when the game is over. What’s the *BLEEPIN’*
score?
TAHKISIS: Rolling her eyes. I think you’ve got three.
OSBORNE: *BLEEP*
that, I’ve got at least five!
TAHKISIS: I think not! You hit that dog at least twice, and
the one shot almost broke that window!
OSBORNE: I have five, *BLEEPBLEEPIT*!
TAHKISIS: By the Abyss, Ozzy, you’ve got THREE, and don’t
make me come up there!
OSBORNE: I will kick your *BLEEP* right off
this planet!
TAHKISIS: Grumbling and stepping back, she awkwardly holds
the football aloft ready for a throw.
OSBORNE: I thought that maybe a little ball might help you
get your mind off the *BLEEPIN’*
situation your in that’s all.
TAHKISIS: Well between that infernal knight Huma, all the other
gods laughing at me and breaking not one, but TWO nails I guess I do need some
rest and relaxation. I swear one day I will steal the whole *BLEEP*
planet out from under their nose.
OSBORNE: Okay already, I’m ready!
TAHKISIS: Ponders for a moment. Do you want the …
what did you call them? The “curve” ball or the “off-speed”
throw?
OSBORNE: Just throw the *BLEEPING*
ball!
TAHKISIS: How about I just through a lightning bolt right at
your ugly head instead, huh?
OSBORNE: Oh, you wouldn’t *BLEEPING*
DARE! You said you need me to get you back into that club, or whatever it was.
TAHKISIS: Underhands the football up to the window.
OSBORNE: Osborne snatched the ball and immediately hurls
it back as the ball hits the ground hard about an inch from the Dark Queen’s
feet, where she jumps back.
OSBORNE: I hit you! That’s three points!
TAHKISIS: Seething You missed by at least two inches!
You did NOT hit me!
OSBORNE: I so hit you with that ball!
TAHKISIS: Look at the mark on the driveway! Nowhere close!
Didn’t hit me, no points!
OSBORNE: Give me another!
TAHKISIS: No! This is the last time I say this. Get down here
now and let us finish this discussion.
OSBORNE: Don’t make me come down there and kick your
*BLEEP*. Just give me the *BLEEPING*
ball.
TAHKISIS: Come and get it yourself.
OSBORNE: I don’t care if you’re a lady or not.
When I get down their I’m kicking your *BLEEP*
all the back to the *BLEEPING*
Abyss.
TAHKISIS: An unlikely story.
OSBORNE: disappears from the window and heads down stairs.
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